So one lazy Saturday evening, I lay on the 6-inch mattress in my corner of the cubicle (the school authorities actually think it is a room o) I share with my roommate and my mind came up with this list. It’s not exclusive and I must add that it’s the THINGS that I don’t like; this in no way means that I do not like the people that use, eat or have them as the case may be. That settled, here’s my ‘craycray’ list:
1. Models and Six-inched stilettos
Simple. One I can never be and the other, I can not wear.
2. Sharwama (Did I spell that right?)
What’s the concept behind that stuff anyway? Looks to me like Pita bread and some yucky cream and what?! It’s a no-no jor!
3. Bandage dresses/skirts
You don’t know what those things are? Go and look at the picture of an Egyptian mummy and you’ll get the entire look…and more.
4. Roller skates and Bicycles
They remind me of my lack of balance ni jare! The people that ride on those things look like they’re feather-weighted…and y’all know I’m not.
5. Grown men -and women- with busy armpits
Are you aiming at keeping your pet Tiger in there? If not, please shave it na! It ain’t macho, has never been and will never be…and do I need to tell you that it’s not lady-like either?
6. Badly drawn/shaped brows
People are spending thousands of naira on Shrinks, all in a bid to get rid of terrible attitude and you’re wearing yours on your face? C’mon girl! Bad brows=bad attitude.
One word, eeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!
8. Yam and palm oil
What are you? A cat?
9. Lemon green colour
That colour hurts the eyes mehn! I have a feeling I must have had nightmares of that colour when I was a kid.
10. HBD LLNP GGMUB
Haba! This is wickedness. Anytime I see this on my wall or anyone else’s, I feel like bursting into tears. So I’m so bad I don’t even deserve a proper message on my birthday? Diaris god oooo!!! *tears*
*sniff* Let’s hear what makes you cringe…