Confessions – The Fight Of Faith

My name is Queen Oset and I am a woman of Faith. I am a Christian; without apologies. I am not a Christian because I was born into a Christian home, I am a Christian because I chose to be one; now, don’t get me wrong, I mean this in the sense that I DECIDED to follow Jesus.

Today is not the day to go into what being Christian really means and I don’t even think I am qualified to go down that lane because I too probably need coaching on that. However, today, I think, is the day that I make my confessions as to the fight of my faith. Yes, I fight. I do not belong to that category of persons that have attained perfection and have no struggles in their faith anymore. I fight.

I fight choosing myself over God; my pride, reputation and feelings I sometimes put over God’s name and glory. I mean, I still snapped at a cab driver the other day. Sometimes, I indulge myself and compromise on standards clearly set and laid down by the Spirit, because I take grace for granted more often than not.

I could be funny but sometimes, my jokes are plain shallow and vain words, spoken idly just to make others laugh and I, in the process, wrath the Spirit. Disobedience? Oh, don’t let’s go down that lane! I find the instruction hard to adhere to; I just kind of push it aside or find my way around to carrying it out in a simpler and comfortable way.

Go ahead; call me whatever suits you, I could be judgmental too. But you know we, lots of times, forget that when we think we are better than other people, it is a mere function of grace and nothing else. GRACE.

So I find it difficult to wake up early in the morning to pray and study my bible but find it easier to jump up to get into the kitchen and work, I struggle to keep concentration and focus during a fifteen-minute prayer but I could see a movie for hours and not blink bat an eyelid.

One thing keeps me going however and that is how much the Lord loves me. Sometimes, I do not know anything else but I always know that He loves me and there, in those arms of love, I find strength, forgiveness, peace, hope and joy.

Sometimes, I’m not sure if I want to be all ‘breathing fire’ and ‘speaking flames’ but, all the time, I’m sure that I just want to love Him right back. I know that I cannot love Him half as much as He does me but, I still want to love Him. Love Him with all that I am, savour His presence, be excited at hearing the truth of His promises and instructions, and delight in the sacrifice of putting Him first.

I know some people are all strong, grown in the Lord and perfect, but I am not, like a ton of other Christians out there.

So maybe you’re in my shoes… you are not alone.

Again, I am a Christian, I am not perfect, I fight but, I know my Father loves me.


9 thoughts on “Confessions – The Fight Of Faith

  1. Great piece. Thanks for being sincere about the struggles in your walk with God. The fight is a good one. Most of us have not even struggled with the Old Man unto the shedding of blood and we are usually tempted to think we are superhumans. It’s not that we worth this Life, it’s God’s unconditional love that has got us locked into His focus. We are lucky ones who has seen His face!

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