Brothers Get In Here!

Hello Bro!
Come, I want to break a sister-code (that one that says never to break the code?); it’s a new year and I am tired of your singleness, you’re using it to frustrate the sisters!
I don’t have a lot to say. Just very few cogent points that if adhered to, will transform your love life.

1. Use Maclean Toothpaste!
Ah, did you just say that they don’t produce it anymore?
Please, for the sake of your romantic destiny, goanfind it. You know why? YOU NEED YOUR CONFIDENCE BACK!
Shebithat is what Maclean purports to do? Then go and find one and use it because, to get the sister, you need confidence!
No correct babe likes a man that cannot even properly and confidently ‘present his case’ to her – NO!
A guy who was recently on my case called me a few days ago and asked to see me. I asked to know what for and he kept saying some stuff that had no head nor tail and this headless and tailless something he was saying, he could not even say properly – he was sounding like a nursery school kid who forgot the lines of his poem in front of the audience in the school’s prize-giving day! I felt like weeping for him – for that sole reason, I declined the request.
If you don’t believe this rule, carry out an inquiry from the ‘babes’.
I say no more!

2. Buy Turari
Yes. If you cannot afford proper perfume, bikobuy Turari.
Issallow ehn.
Smell nice!
After the babe has spent an hour to draw fleek brows and wear Ruby Woo lipstick, you wee now come from nowhere and come and be smelling like moin-moin from last week and you want the babe to say ‘yes’?
No. She will not say yes!!
If I Hear!

3. Wear To-match
See ehn, to-match does not necessarily mean buba and soro, sometimes, to-match is wearing a top and bottom that fits! Fits in colour, texture, size…
Brother please, stop dressing like WW III descended on you before you stepped out of your house.
Wash and iron your clothes, Polish your shoes, keep clean nails, cut your hair, put vasline on your lips and above all, PLEASE WEAR YOUR RIGHT SIZES!

4. Study Student’s Companion
Yes O!
That book that we used for English in secondary school? Abeg ehn, find it and study it like your destiny depends on it because, it actually does!
All these grammar that you’re using to bamboozle the sisters is not werking.
We’re tired! (Can I get a witness sis?)
It af do!
Learn how to speak well!
Filing your matter and presenting your arguments properly is very crucial to your case or else, it will be struck out! (*DancingShakitiBobo* My lecturers need to see this. They’ll be very proud of me!)
Even if it is Yoruba you want to speak or Ibo, or Hausa, please, co-ordinate your grammar well!
Toh! Ayaf said my own.

I’m Out!


10 thoughts on “Brothers Get In Here!

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