On Beauty And Hand Guns

By Sharon Olanrewaju

I watched sternly, eyes widened, as she did her artistic work; hands set, all tools in place, confidence like that of Michael Angelo.
She  commanded me “HOLD THE MIRROR WELL!”
I obeyed promptly like a nervous apprentice who is scared her boss could fire her at any tiny fault. I was before a professional artist.

I peeped out from behind the mirror and saw her holding up the pencil to her lips, she was deep in thought. She touched the area around her eye with her finger, Uh, perhaps, that’s how the inspiration would come.
I just couldn’t wait to see her finished work. She was getting ready for her departmental dinner and the standing mirror was recently broken so I was to hold the mirror up for her because this make-up had to be just perfect.

She had been so excited about the dinner; I think it’s because she hopes to get the attention of a  handsome guy. It’s her last year in school,what other time will she get a boyfriend if not now. If it doesn’t work out now, then “IT IS FINISHED” just as Jesus said.

“HOLD THE MIRROR WELL!” I heard her say again.
I tried my best to hold the mirror upright.
Then she began.
She worked smartly as is expected of an artist. Hands going up, down, backwards, straight, up, down, pick up a wipe to clean something, then up, down, straight and, phew!
After what seemed like a thousand and eight hundred milliseconds (no, please don’t approximate it to minutes, that would water down the intended exaggeration)

She stopped.

I heaved a sigh, “Thank Goodness! I’ll see her now”
I was about to put down the mirror when she suddenly grabbed the pencil like she had been stung by a scorpion. I put the mirror up again. I think I saw her use the wipe again. Was she starting again!? This would definitely be one heck of a drawing. I thought she would draw the line straight again but she drew it down in an angle that seemed to me like a 132° (I hated being told to draw such angles back then in secondary school. It took so much time to get it right. You train your eyes on the protractor, mark the point and just when you think you’ve gotten it right, you realize 132° is just a tiny space away from the line you have drawn!)

Then she stopped. This time, I knew she was done because she stood staring unbelievingly at the mirror, her lips forming an ‘Aha!’, she was grinning proudly. I let down the mirror and was immediately left awe struck!
Right before my own eyes were the most amazingly grotesquely drawn eyebrows I had ever seen.

She looked at me, winked, and asked, “What do you think?”
I was dumbfounded. I have often said that girls should not try doing everything  done by guys  just in a bid to prove that whatever a man can do, a woman can do better because obviously, this one was a failure. The only opportunity given to the female gender to prove her talent in drawing, sketching and arts has been messed up.

She went for the dinner. She came back dull and grumpy. I guess she didn’t find any guy. She couldn’t have found, she in fact mustn’t have found! Those eyebrows could scare the devil. Draw an eye brow and she presents what? A hand gun!

Now, let’s bring no more shame to womanhood. Learn how to draw your eye brows right with this video.

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One thought on “On Beauty And Hand Guns

  1. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    hahahahahahaaaaahahahahaha
    hhahahahahhahahhahaaaa!!!!!!!
    I’m weak! I can’t deal with this.
    Ohhh goodness gracious!
    You stood with your hands high up already surrendering to the guns unknown to you.

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